Shannon

She's waiting for you, Shannon.  She misses you.

Apparently I only take pictures of myself after I go to the gym.
Also, I don't know what's scarier - my face or the doll's.

Beasts of Burden

Three miles down today, two more to go.  I like the walking.  I don't have nearly enough time (or easy access, for that matter) to hike more often that I do; I think walking on the treadmill or around my 'hood might be a good alternative.  Minus the blisters.  Those I still need to manage.  I did get me some awfully purdy new shoes today though.  My others were being held together by tape, so it was time for an upgrade. 

Like walking on air.

With buckets of time to spare, I have decided on next month's challenge:  try a new food/recipe every day. Also, pick a long-term goal and spend 30-60 minutes on it per day.

I'm going to be realistic with the food challenge though.  For one thing, I'm not going to have time to create a culinary masterpiece every night -- particularly during the week -- so going to Whole Foods and picking out a random, terrifying looking fruit or vegetable is going to count.  It is new, after all.  Also, I know it's going to be nigh impossible to cook or shop every single day.  I will do my very best, but I will settle for 5 out of 7 days, especially since this is going to be a dual-beast.

Which brings me to the other beast... My long-term goal is to learn Python, a scripting/programming language.  It'd be incredibly beneficial for work -- lots of our customers use it.  I've tried to learn it a couple of times now and I find it fucking impossible.  It's like learning ... another language.  (Bah dum tss.)  I'm hoping having it a challenge will spur me on.  I'll be forced to spend more time with it.

So there you have it.  Come on, November!  Show me whatcha got.

Keening and Wailing

My dear-friend-who-moved-far-away-and-I-miss-greatly, otherwise known as Shannon, said I should have been blogging more this month since I had all this free time on my hands.  But here's the thing, what does one write about in a blog about challenges when the challenge is to *not* do something?  A passage challenge does not lend it self to blogging material.  Active challenges!  I need more activity!  (That's what she said.)

Oct 1:  Today I didn't watch TV.
Oct 5:  Today I didn't watch TV.
Oct 10:  Still haven't watched TV.

That's a very boring blog.  Though I suppose it would be less boring than no blog at all.  Well, my remaining five readers, I'm nestled in my apartment, listening to Hurricane Sandy (least intimidating hurricane name I've heard yet.  Oh, Sandy... "Summer loving, had me a blast!  Summer loving, happened so fa-a-a-a-a-st.") and her keening, wailing wind as I sip my appropriately sized glass of wine and jam to Anberlin.  Perfect atmosphere for bloggin'.  At least until the power goes out.

I can think of no other appropriate post-workout beverage.
And look!  I still have power.  Cheers.

The challenge this month has been surprisingly easy.  Not very challengey.  I think part of the difficulty in blogging is that I don't feel like I'm doing much this month -- as if I'm going through the motions of the monthly challenge, but not actively doing anything.  Lesson learned, I suppose:  not watching TV isn't that difficult for me.

Walking my remaining 15 miles on the other hand...  I probably shouldn't have waited until the last week of the month to knock that shit out.

(Reddit meme)

But, I've got 10 under my belt -- only five left to go (see how well I do math, everyone??).  Two and a half miles over the next couple of days, no problem.

So, we've got November and December to go through and I want those two remaining months to be more along the lines of "take a picture every day" or "do something creative every day."  For one, it gives me more to write about and I genuinely, truly enjoy writing this blog; and two, I like having a project or -- and I'm tired of writing this word -- a challenge. Other than trivia, that is.  That's only one night a week, after all.

(Looked up "challenge" in Word's thesaurus:  test, trial, task, contest, encounter, experiment, throw down the gauntlet (not making that up).  Ok.  "Challenge" it is then.)

I have a few remaining (sigh) challenges on my list:

- try a  new food/recipe every day
- learn something new every day
- make one long-term goal and spend an hour on it every day

I haven't decided what I'm doing yet.  I've got two days left to pick something.  Plenty of time.

Signs

Not watching TV is hard.  No, really.  The first week or so was surprisingly difficult.  I had no idea I had become so dependent.  Hi, my name is Heather and I am addicted to streaming stupid shit on Netflix.  We're talking Piranha, (actually, Piranha was highly entertaining -- in a cheesy horror, show-all-the-boobs kind of way), The Vampire Diaries (I should be ashamed, but I'm not.  I regret nothing.), Without A Paddle (I have no excuse for this one).  The list goes on.  With the exception of Breaking Bad and maybe a few others, we're not talking quality programming here.  I'm filling my brain with utter tripe and I miss it.  I miss tripe!

The word "filling" is key here.  I realized I use TV as company.  I'm alone most evenings after work (no "woe is me, I'm so alone" -- just stating the facts) and having the TV (or laptop) on is company of sorts.  It's noise, it's laughter, it's man-eating, boob-shredding, demon piranhas from the depths of hell, etc.  The first few days of no TV I felt very alone and I almost caved on numerous occasions.  It was also reminiscent of my 'Mediate Every Day' challenge in that, again, any time I am faced with quiet or an opportunity for introspection, I get itchy and uncomfortable.  That's a sign of ... something.  Yep.

But, as the month has gone on, it's gotten much easier.   I'm listening to music, tackling the pile of books (virtual pile, in the case of my Kindle), Snickers the Cat and I have had some deep, philosophical discussions about life and the joys of tuna, and that pesky junk drawer is still full of junk, but it looks neater.  It's been grand.  I also started drawing this:

I have nothing of my own to show yet, but I'll share the finish product when it's done.
I'm sure it will look exactly like this.  Only better.
(And maybe with an ox.)

When November rolls around, I have no doubt I will spend the first week huddled in bed catching up on all the shows I missed in October (I feel a cold coming on already), but I am starting to wonder if I'll go back to watching six straight hours of White Collar (... well, not that I've ever done that; it's just an example).  It's been nice not wasting hours watching bullshit and actually reading the book I want to read but normally set aside to instead get sucked into a show laden with teenage angst and werewolves.

That being said, I still have two entire seasons of Breaking Bad to catch up on.  Those episodes aren't going to watch themselves, folks!

In other news, walking down the hall at work this afternoon I realized I am supposed to be walking 15 miles this month.  I haven't done that.

Also, our team, Have Fun Storming the Castle, won at trivia tonight.  Don't hate.

Picasa does a great job of fixing 'red eye'.

Room for Activities

My dream was to have October's challenge be Learn to Play the Banjo!  But alas, due to vacations and The Crazy, I wasn't able to set it up.  Instead... NO TV (that includes Netflix, Hulu, HGBGo, and so on).  That's less exciting than learning to play the banjo and starting my own one-woman bluegrass band, but there will be so much room for activities without television!  I decided on this challenge late last night and I had already been watching the old boob tube, so, uhh, yesterday doesn't count.  This I have decreed.  Or how about, I get a one-day pass since I also have to walk 15 miles this month and last night I used that pass.  MULLIGAN!

I'm excited about this one.  I have an ever-growing pile of books I'd like to tackle, but I always find myself sucked into one show after another -- and some of them not even good shows, just filler -- and the pile remains alone and neglected.  (Much like my ... oh, never mind.)

I don't have the self-control to stop watching TV on my own, so having this blog is a convenient way to trick my brain into thinking I actually want to do whatever the thing is for the month (except for swearing; there's no tricking my brain when it comes to swearing.  Or meditating.) and I might actually be able cross off some of the items on my "To Do" (or "To Read") list.

What I think I'm going to do in the evenings with all my extra time:

- read
- journal
- draw/paint things

Like this!  Drew and painted over the summer.
(Also, Ox)

- exercise more
- volunteer more
- spend more time with friends

What I'll probably do in the evenings with all my extra time:

- nap
- browse reddit

Laundry

I just finished putting away three loads of laundry.  I love the smell of clean laundry.  It's all warm and cozy and ... smells nice.  I like it when things smell nice.  I also like having clean underwear and socks and things.  And you know when your pillow case smells like dryer sheets and you smile a happy smile as you drift off to sleep, thinking of sheep and fluffy teddy bears?  No?  Just me?  Ok, then.

You know what else I like?  NOT BEING CRAZY.  I've totally been taking that for granted for most of my life.  See, a couple of months ago I start taking birth control because I had this weird notion that it would be good for me and my hoo-ha (you know, down there) and would help "regulate things" (I'm talking about my MENSTRUAL CYCLE, menfolk).  What do I get instead?  A whole bucket of fucking crazy.  I'm talking insomnia, panic attacks, crazy-bananas-thoughts, more anxiety and just for fun, a dash of insatiable hunger.  It was not fun, to say the least.  Clearly my brain cannot handle any sort of hormonal change and my Crazy Tree and I become one for time. 

My hair is doing this weird helmet thing now that I'm growing it out.
Also, I'm too lazy to color in that whole tree.  Deal with it.

Last week -- once it finally dawned on me why I was slowly turning into a lunatic -- I dug a hole in the backyard, popped each little pill out of the blister pack, set them all on fire, then buried the ashes in the hole.  Then I peed on it.  And set that on fire.

(None of that is true.  I just threw them away in a trash can at the mall, but I would have done something more extreme had I the time.)

(Maybe not the peeing part.)

(Though, if I had done it I could have just blamed it on "being crazy.")

I am finally feeling better and more like myself again.  As I'm sure I've mentioned, I tend to run on happy and anything less than that is always disconcerting.  I've only been off the wee spawns of satan for a few days so I think it's going to take some time before deciding what to watch on Netflix doesn't make me break into a sweat, but I'm sleeping now and you know, running happier, so I've got that going for me.

All joking aside, I am astounded at the affect such a tiny, seemingly insignificant pill can have on a person.  It's a bit terrifying, really.  Perhaps had I stayed on it a bit longer I would have normalized and become one with the pill instead of the tree, but I couldn't wait it out.  Never again, man.  I'll either have lots and lots of babies or continue down the path I'm on now, which is never, ever, ever having sex.  Seems to be working for me.

(That is also a lie.  It sucks.)

The good thing about all that crazy up there is that it seemed to hit me all at once and mostly AFTER my wonderful, amazing, perfect vacations came to an end.  I think the Crazy was lurking right beneath the surface, lying in wait to spring at the most inopportune time possible, but if I can pat my brain on the back for anything, it's for managing to stay in check long enough for me to get my vacation groove on.  (Vacation recap posts are coming up post-haste.)

Who's a good brain?  You're a good brain!

Now I will quickly sum up September's challenge and get on to talking about important stuff like this:

I wore this same outfit to work today.

September's challenge was to walk 100 miles.  I made it to 85.  I will walk the remaining 15 miles in October.  That is all.