Sisters

I asked my sister if she would be so kind as to attempt some of the same drawings I've posted on the blog; I thought the comparisons would be giggle-worthy.  You know, since she has talent and I ... do not.  I guess she took a crack at it, if this email is any indication:

That shark was bullshit.

Bullets and Birth

Today my wonderful friend, Meredith, turns, um, an-age-older-than-she-was-last-year.  I like to draw birthday cards for my people using Paint; it amuses me (and hopefully them as well).  For Mer's b-day celebration, we're going to a shooting range to shoot MACHINE GUNS!

She also really likes Swedish Fish.

It'll look just like that.  Meredith is 9' tall, but I'm happy to report her body is quite a bit more proportional that I depicted it up there.  (But she really does have rad blue hair (sometimes).)

For my first attempt I was going for something along the lines of, "Meredith should fire that weapon as if she is shooting all of the assholes who have ever been mean to her because she pretty much rocks as a friend (sister, wife, etc.) and no one should ever be mean to her", but it ended up just looking more violent and bloody and less HAPPY BIRTHDAY I THINK YOU ARE AWESOME.

Murder-Death-Kill-Birthday

Anyway, Happy B-day, Mer-dith.  Can't wait to play with guns and drink beer with you (doesn't get much more Amurrican than that).

Aquatic Prozac

Perhaps I need to seek professional help.  Everything I draw is sad.  I'm not a sad person; in fact, I tend to run happy.  Happy is my go-to.  Happy is my default.

... or am I deluding myself?  Is my "inner Heather" crying out for an intervention?

This clown fish tells no jokes.

Obviously I was reaching for the stars with my previous attempts at drawing (though one lucky boy or girl will be getting the ox -- framed and matted -- as a birthday/Christmas present this year).   I thought it best to demote myself to more, uhh, entry-level art.  My library has a fantastic children's section.  I learned how to draw that fish up there from Ralph Masiello's ocean drawing book (ages 6 and up!).  It also had a few pages on sharks:

 

Step-by-step.  Simple lines.  No problem.

Captain, we have a problem.

I try not to censor myself too much on here, but I have to admit, I was (ok, am) almost too embarrassed to post this picture.  I'd like to say I messed up it up on purpose to be funny, but ... no.  With the exception of he extreme buck shark teeth (he looks like an asshole, he should have giant asshole teeth), it was legit.

I was talking on the phone, so distraction clearly played a part in the shark demise.  I'm sure that's it.  Next time, no phone, no "West Wing", no annoying cat.  Just me, my pad, my pencil and an empty mind (that last one shouldn't be too hard to accomplish).  I'm telling you, shit's about to get real at Chez Heather.

I did stay in the lines yesterday.  That has to count for something.

You should do more of this, less of all that crap up there ↑.
Stick to what you know, lady.