The Other Half

Thankfully there are two parts to July's challenge and I'm kicking butt on the second half.  Exercise every day.  That's it.  Simple, to the point, none of this "try to stop doing something you do multiple times a day every single day" business.  Just get your butt off the couch and move. 

(I like to move it, move it... I like to MOVE IT.)

So I've been doing that.  I don't necessarily have to do a full-blown workout every day, but I have to do something for at least 20 minutes.  That is the arbitrary rule I made up.  My angry hips and knees are the impetus for this challenge.  I've been going to physical therapy twice a week for the past two months for said angry hips and knees.  My knees feel stellar now, but my hips are still a bit sullen. 

"How are you feeling today?"
"Oh, I don't know.  I'm a little melancholy."

In order to keep them in their current state (and possibly a happier, more well-adjusted one), I have to continue with the exercises and stretches I suffered through during therapy.  I thought doing this challenge would be a good way to establish a habit, a routine, whatever.

I like it when things feel good so...  well, that's it, really.  Doing things to feel good.

I also like thistles, so here's one.

Tattoo meets real life.  Ish.

In other news, I have kept the swearing to a minimum the past two days -- only one "ffffuuuuuu..." (but with consonants) per day.  Progress!

In other-other news, I saw these faces this past weekend and now I miss these faces and wish I could smooch them.

They were less blurry a couple days ago.

Words Are Hard

Day 9

Why am I doing this challenge?  Who thought this would be a good idea?  To all of you naysayers out there, I'm sorry I got annoyed when you laughed in my face at the mere mention of living a life without swearing (that being said, bite me -- you could have at least pretended to be supportive).  I've yet to go a day without dropping an f-bomb (or six) and I started this morning off by calling someone a "s--thead" (not to his face or anything and in my defense, he really is a s--thead.  It's basically like calling him "Tom", so maybe it shouldn't count??).

I've completely lost count at this point.  I think I owe my siblings somewhere in the neighborhood of $1,000 each and I should probably post at least 27 embarrassing videos on this here blog.  It's probably not going to happen because, well, I don't really want to.  Or, it'll have to wait until Drunk Heather makes an appearance.  Yes, yes, it's a bit of a cop-out, but ...  IT'S MY BLOG AND I'LL GET DRUNK AND MAKE VIDEOS IF I WANT TO!  OR NOT AT ALL!  EITHER WAY!  I'm already on day four with no Reddit.  Isn't that punishment enough?  It feels like punishment.

Posting notes around my house and on my person certainly hasn't helped:

When you eat food, no swearing.

When you leave the house, no swearing.

 I'm talking to you, kid.  Seriously, no swearing.

Really?  Even this won't help?
(Side note:  I sent someone this picture and they replied back with:
"You're a unique grape, Heather Lee."  What a fantastic compliment.)
(Shuddup.  It's a compliment if I want it to be.)

A real life unique grape from mom's house.
And an unintentional spider friend.

I was doing fairly well last week -- swearing only four times a day...  What's that?  You think four times a day is a lot?  Need I remind you that I use the work "f--k" like the word "the" in daily run-of-the-mill conversation, so paring it down to only four times a day is a remarkable achievement.  Again, bite me if you disagree.

Then Friday rolled around.  I was troubleshooting a problem at work well into the Friday evening and I was getting, erm, frustrated.  My computer was being slow, I forgot what I had already tested and my efforts devolved into ... well, less thinking about what I was doing and more swearing heatedly and angrily at my computer.

"What the f--k?!  I just did that and it worked.  Stop being an a-hole, computer."

"Just f-----g open already!"

"Ugh.  F--k you."

Yep.  And that's why I started this challenge in the first place.  For nights like that.  I don't even know what to try at this point.  I only swore twice on Saturday-- first day with no f-bombs. (...yay?)  I made it through the entire day with nary a bad word and then I spilled a bottle of red wine on my newly cleaned kitchen floor.  Sigh.

I've added a rubber-band-around-the-wrist approach, snapping it every time I swear.  Maybe inflicting actual pain will help?  I suggested to Kristy I change the challenge to "I will swear only five times a day", but she shot that down rather quickly, something about "cheating".  I dunno.  I'm at a bit of a loss.  Here's a bug in a flower.

Hi.  I'm a bug in a flower.

GAAHHHHHHHH!

Day 2

I made it until 7:40. 

Really PowerPoint?  Really?  Why couldn't you just let me change the font color?  I don't ask for much.  I asked you for one little thing and when you wouldn't comply?  F-bomb.

(...one hour later...)

While watching "True Blood", the following was uttered by yours truly:

"What?  Are they going to f---ing fairyland or something."

Followed soon after by, "Run, motherf---er!  Don't just stand there."

Sigh. This is going to be the longest. Month. Ever.

If you're keeping track, that's $50 so far.  Maybe I can't afford this form of punishment.  My sister suggests I should put a limit on it, lest I have to spend next month eating peanut butter and jelly.  And maybe some crackers.

Here's another Drunk Heather video.

I was going to post this immediately, but it seems prudent to wait until bedtime, when I know I'm done talking for the day.  Or maybe I should just stop talking altogether.  Until August.

(My sister questions the accuracy of this self-portrait.)