Milla Jovovich, I Love You

This is how I decide what to stream on Netflix:

Scroll ... scroll ... scroll ... "This looks terrible."  *clicks play*

Right now I'm watching Faces in the Crowd:  "Milla Jovovich stars..."

I read no further; they had me at Milla Jovovich.

This is not going to be a good movie.

In other news, my brother had a birthday this year!  (<-- You know what?  I'm not even going to correct that.  What is wrong with you, Brain?  He had a birthday this year, but not last year when he got stuck in that quantum time trap and did not age?  Stupid brain).  Moving on... he had a birthday last week, turning the ripe old age of 36.  (Oh, wait... that's the age I'll be turning this year.  How sad for me.)  27.  He turned 27.  I think.  It might have been 26.  I am old; I don't remember things as well as I used to.

I got all artsy with his berfday card.

Talent.  So much talent contained in one individual.
I'm a good speller too:  HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

It looks like Billy is taking that little ox on a walk up the hill, but it's actually supposed to be a little inset picture, magnifying the ox tattoo he's getting on his arm. 

...

Ok, so he's not getting an ox tattoo on the arm and frankly, I think his arm will be the lesser for it.  He is, however, getting a new tattoo courtesy of Heather's Checking Account.  (Tattoo TBD.)  I like to support my siblings' growing tattoo collections.  My sister's most recent, for example:

So, that's not her actual tattoo.  I can't find a picture of her actual tattoo, but that's what it looks like.  Phylogenetic tree.  Fancy.

Things I have eaten recently:  collared greens (delicious), vegan "steak & cheese" (surprisingly delicious), vegan "mac & cheese" (amazingly delicious), made some bean soup (everything I make is delicious), persimmon (squishy), olive (DO NOT LIKE), jicama (weird), fried jalapeno thingie (I love jalapeno thingies), bread with basil and prosciutto (DO LIKE), quinoa and black bean recipe (did I mention that everything I make is delicious?), some odd vegetable from the Whole Foods salad bar -- the name eludes me at the moment (see above about age).

And that's what's going on with me.

Also, I want a new tattoo.

Also also, that movie was horrendous.  1-star.

Birthday Narwhal

My darlin' friend, Jennie, turned 30-Fabulous this week.  I drew a number of delightful, charming pictures in my favorite medium, Paint, and hung them around her office.  My favorite, by far, was the Birthday Narwhal.  Does the Birthday Narwhal exist outside of my special, happy place?  I don't know.  You have to decide that for yourself.  Look inside; what's in your heart?

For me, on that particular day, he was in my heart and needed, nay, demanded, to be expressed in colorful, artistic pixels.  Narwhal or bust, you might say.

The Birthday Narwhal is happy you were born.

My inspiration:

Curious about that long unicorn-like horn (narwhalcorn?) sticking out of its head?  That's a tooth, my friends.  Yes, an inscisor tooth.  I know, right?  What the fuck?  Little evolutionary misstep, perhaps?  Darwin?  Hello?  Anyone?

According to the Wikipedia, the most widely accepted theory is that it's a "secondary sexual characteristic." They help the dude narwhals maintain dominance or "help young males develop skills necessary for performance in adult sexual roles." 


Father:  "Ok, son, you take *this* and you stick it *here*.  That's all you'll ever need to know."
Every woman ever:  "Um, actually..."

Scientists also liken the tooth the tail feather display of the male peacock.

Just take that ass to the floor
Pop something move something
Shake ya tail feather, girl go and take it low

Yeah, you shake those tail feathers, Birthday Narwhal.  Shake 'em.