March, A Belated Recap

(You're a belated recap.)

Remember that one time I wrote that "Sass" post all about how I was going to write a bunch of new posts?  That was cute.

It's also cute how I thought I could look at Reddit only once a day.  I suppose installing a "YOU CAN LOOK AT REDDIT WHENEVER YOU WANT" app on my phone didn't help my cause.  Cause?  There's no cause.  I'm not trying to stop.  I mean, I could stop if I wanted to, but ... why would I want to?

(Word of warning:  I don't recommend clicking on that link to Reddit up there.  Trust me on this.  It will suck all of your time away.  If you've never heard of it and are curious about what it is, here's what Wikipedia has to say:  "Reddit is a social news website where the registered users submit content, in the form of either a link or text "self" posts."  Hm, doesn't help you does it?  It's basically a lot of silly memes, pictures of cats, stories, links to actual news, and, um, other things that are funny/intereseting.  Still doesn't help you does it?  Welp, that's all I've got for you. You're on your own from here.  Don't say I didn't warn you.)

Alternate title for this post?  Reddit Stole My Blogging Time.

I feel like this post needs a picture.  Here is Penny running through a puddle.

Don't pretend you don't want to do this.

Anyway, let's talk turkey, turkeys.  March.  Where the frakking hell did March go?  It was here a second ago and then *poof* gone.  Though it didn't go the way I had envisioned, I gave March's challenge my best mediocre attempt and I claim victory.  V i i i i i c t o r r r y!  Mostly because it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside to do so.  I see no point in being all "You suck at meditation, Heather. You are a failure."  What's that going to solve?  Here's what I learned:

1.  Meditation is hard.
2.  Introspection makes me feel all itchy.
3.  I don't like too much quiet.
4.  I don't like sitting.
5.  Most of the time my Brain does whatever the fuck it wants.  I am powerless against it.

But on a serious note, I did mediate most days and my biggest accomplishment was learning that when Jeff the Troll is acting like a dickhead causing my stomach to hate me, I can sit (or lay) quietly, focus on my breathing, and I'm able to calm that big bastard down.  That in and of itself makes me feel ok about my piss-poor, half-assed attempts to meditate, and is certainly enough to declare March a success.

I didn't follow any of the rules I set out for myself:

1.  Mediate for at least 10 minutes every day, hopefully increasing that time throughout the month.
Ten minutes you say?  Not so much.  I would say I meditated 20 out of the 31 days and while I didn't increase me time (suddenly I'm a pirate?) or make it to 10 minutes every day, I did ... something.  
Oh.  20/31 = 65%.  That's a D.    Whatever, it's still passing.


2.  Research different types of meditation, try those.
Nope.


3.  Eat lots of bananas because they're, like, totally good for you.
Oh, I did this one.  I love bananas.


4.  Go to the meditation class I signed up for instead of skipping it like I have been because meditating is hard.
I only went to one class.  0.o


(Holy shit, I'm going to be eating cupcakes tomorrow.  Jennie is making her infamous Heather-friendly S'Mores cupcakes and they are amazing.)

(Those cupcakes were amazing.)



5.  Focus on my inhalations and my exhalations.  Breathe in, breathe out.
Well, I did breathe every day. 

I don't know why those are spaced like a bunch of assholes (how are assholes spaced?  You'd think ... smaller), but I'm getting angry trying to fix and nobody should be angry on Saturday.

I won't lie, I am a little disappointed in myself.  As with January and February, I feel like I didn't give it my best.  Best mediocre?  Sure.  I mediocred the shit out of March.  It's so easy to let life get in the way and use that as an excuse to not follow through on the things I set out for myself.  I do realize that I am the one who decided to take on these monthly challenges and I don't have to go through with any of it, but dammit!  For once I want to say, "I am going to do this thing." and then actually do that thing.

So, Jan - Mar didn't go the way I wanted.  They're done and gone and I have nine more months (that's a whole baby!) to make good on the promises I've made to myself.  I'm on it like white on Richard.

Incidentally, my phone auto-corrected "white on rice" to "white on Richard" the other day and now I kind of want that to be a thing.  Let's make that happen.