Jeff

Allow me to introduce you to Jeff the Troll.  Say "Hi", Jeff.

Fee-fi-fo-fum
I'mma about to fuck up your day.

Jeff's lives in my stomach and he's a real asshole.  I have often described my upset tummies as "an angry monster trying to claw its way out" and here he is, in stunning blue glory.  The fucker.  All this time I thought I had a sensitive stomach or was, perhaps, a bit "high-maintenance" when it came to food.  Nope.  Troll.

Mystery solved.